Tapsearch Com EditorWhat's your name again?
July 18th 2007 22:55
The Examiner has this hilarious summary of a discussion about "hooking up":
For one, when the topic comes up, guys make snarky comments and girls start glaring. That means the system is working fine for men (as they see it), but women feel used by it.
Given this, what incentive in the world do guys have to change their behavior? If a man wants sex and a woman wants a relationship -- and yet the woman wants to feel "empowered," that she can have sex like a man -- it typically starts with sex. And since no relationship can continue without both partners' consent, it ends there, too.
Given both parties' goals and philosophies, it's exactly what you would expect to happen. And with so many women ready, willing and able, college-age men who aren't looking for spouses sure as hell aren't going to change their goals and philosophies.
How's this for a wacky idea: Decide what you want out of relationships. If that's anonymous sex (as it is for some women), get juiced up and go for it. But for most women, that seems to be a steady boyfriend who likes her for more than just sex. Many even want to find a spouse while in college.
Then take an honest look at the world and decide what behaviors on your part will bring that about. For said woman, that means holding out until she's convinced the guy wouldn't be there anymore if he were just trying to score.
If a guy isn't getting any, sex can't very well be his reason for sticking around. Ergo, the woman can know she's loved for more than her body. That's downright scientific. And for some reason it corresponds frighteningly well to conventional wisdom! Remember "why buy the ice cream truck when you're giving the Popsicles away free"?
Instead, women convince themselves that they have the right to sleep with whomever they want, as fast as they want, and that doing so shouldn't affect men's perceptions of them. They decide they ought to be able to "hook up" and still pursue relationships, indeed, that random men shouldn't sleep with them if they think otherwise.
Maybe it ought to work this way, but in fact it does not. Many "hook up" generation women would rather be "right" than successful, and they blame guys for getting what they want and leaving.
Women like this aren't used, they're willing. And sometimes stupid.
On Monday, it was Dr. Drew Pinsky, the “Loveline” sexpert, who took to Capitol Hill to teach [some Washington interns] a thing or two about the birds and the bees.
...[He] held a Q&A session with young professionals on relationships and hooking up. And he brought the sober news about drunken hookups (Cap Lounge regulars: Listen up).
“There’s never a relationship, and it’s always while intoxicated,” Pinsky said about what casual campus flings look like in those close-quartered environments. “Many guys’ philosophy is along the lines of ‘juice ’em up and go.’ ”
Not surprisingly, Pinsky’s blunt assessment left many men in the audience nervously shifting in their seats, and Pinsky didn’t relent.
“Why is it that you have to be [messed] up, guys?” Pinsky asked the embarrassed males in the audience.
One brave intern raised his hand.
“The deniability of our actions,” he said in a roomful of glaring women, who clearly didn’t appreciate the intern’s honesty.
Now is it just me, or is it absolutely ridiculous to blame guys for this? Don't get me wrong -- this kind of lifestyle isn't good for either sex -- but let's look at the facts....[He] held a Q&A session with young professionals on relationships and hooking up. And he brought the sober news about drunken hookups (Cap Lounge regulars: Listen up).
“There’s never a relationship, and it’s always while intoxicated,” Pinsky said about what casual campus flings look like in those close-quartered environments. “Many guys’ philosophy is along the lines of ‘juice ’em up and go.’ ”
Not surprisingly, Pinsky’s blunt assessment left many men in the audience nervously shifting in their seats, and Pinsky didn’t relent.
“Why is it that you have to be [messed] up, guys?” Pinsky asked the embarrassed males in the audience.
One brave intern raised his hand.
“The deniability of our actions,” he said in a roomful of glaring women, who clearly didn’t appreciate the intern’s honesty.
For one, when the topic comes up, guys make snarky comments and girls start glaring. That means the system is working fine for men (as they see it), but women feel used by it.
Given this, what incentive in the world do guys have to change their behavior? If a man wants sex and a woman wants a relationship -- and yet the woman wants to feel "empowered," that she can have sex like a man -- it typically starts with sex. And since no relationship can continue without both partners' consent, it ends there, too.
Given both parties' goals and philosophies, it's exactly what you would expect to happen. And with so many women ready, willing and able, college-age men who aren't looking for spouses sure as hell aren't going to change their goals and philosophies.
How's this for a wacky idea: Decide what you want out of relationships. If that's anonymous sex (as it is for some women), get juiced up and go for it. But for most women, that seems to be a steady boyfriend who likes her for more than just sex. Many even want to find a spouse while in college.
Then take an honest look at the world and decide what behaviors on your part will bring that about. For said woman, that means holding out until she's convinced the guy wouldn't be there anymore if he were just trying to score.
If a guy isn't getting any, sex can't very well be his reason for sticking around. Ergo, the woman can know she's loved for more than her body. That's downright scientific. And for some reason it corresponds frighteningly well to conventional wisdom! Remember "why buy the ice cream truck when you're giving the Popsicles away free"?
Instead, women convince themselves that they have the right to sleep with whomever they want, as fast as they want, and that doing so shouldn't affect men's perceptions of them. They decide they ought to be able to "hook up" and still pursue relationships, indeed, that random men shouldn't sleep with them if they think otherwise.
Maybe it ought to work this way, but in fact it does not. Many "hook up" generation women would rather be "right" than successful, and they blame guys for getting what they want and leaving.
Women like this aren't used, they're willing. And sometimes stupid.
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